TWLL #42: Family First- The Balance Between Family And Ministry

Feb 15, 2024

read time: under 5 minutes




When we think about navigating family and worship ministry, it can be easy to cast ministry in a negative light.  Almost like it's the bad guy in the story.

This is not how I feel about worship ministry.

For nearly 20 years I was consistently leading worship in some capacity and loved doing it.

I am pro-ministry, and believe we should be grateful to Jesus for the opportunity He's entrusted to us as worship leaders.  

I also believe in excellence, and therefore being intentional with and prioritizing our worship ministry.  We have a call to steward our teams, and the room we lead in worship each week. 

Set lists, practices, set-up and soundcheck, team gatherings- all of these are important and should be done with purpose and intentionality.

And even when you throw in the dynamic of having a family, it doesn't mean your ministry is an automatic threat.  With a little bit of planning, the ministry schedule can fall into a natural rhythm that flows with family life.



The challenge comes when worship ministry starts to take away from the values you've established for your family, and which is expressed through your time.

Time to connect with your spouse and invest in your marriage, time for a date night, time to play outside with your kids, time to be at their ballet recitals and basketball games, time to eat dinner together, time to do a long-weekend at the lake together.  

When ministry begins to take away from the key activities that strengthen and maintain healthy family life, that's when ministry becomes an issue.

It's the last-minute team meeting that conflicts with my son's game, the extra band practice that means my wife and I don't get a date night...when I'm choosing the worship ministry activities over the family activities then there's a problem.

And yes, many times with planning and prep both areas of life can flow simultaneously.  It's when push comes to shove and I have to choose between the two- that's when I have to choose family over ministry.


Your First Ministry

Here's why this is such a big deal.  My role as a husband, my role as a father to my kids- this is actually the first and primary ministry God has given me.  

Yes, God has called you and I to other things as well- worship ministry being one of them- but that calling does not supersede the primary calling He given us as husbands and wives, and as parents.

Before I am a worship leader, I am a husband.  Before I am a worship leader, I am a father. 

These are roles that have been given to me by the Lord, and when I serve my family by prioritizing my relationship with them, I am actually serving Him.

The key for us is to change our mindset about ministry and what ministry looks like- and begin to see the immense value and priority of ministry to our families.


Falling Into Place

When we put family first, we're actually able to more fully enjoy the worship ministry God's given us, because we're lining up with His design and order. 

Putting family first sets the stage for a healthier marriage and healthier parent-child relationships.

When the family relationships aren't strained and taxed by ministry, it actually frees up your heart to more fully engage with and enjoy what you're doing as a worship leader.



As you continue to lead worship, be aware of the balance between family and ministry.

Be intentional with planning so there's a natural rhythm between the two— and when you have to choose between one or the other, remember that it's family over ministry. 




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